Sometimes we even create relationship drama that doesn't even exist simply because we begin to read into things that aren't really there. Its rough but there has to be a clear level of honesty. And already established rules (are we an opened or closed relationship, etc.). As well as an overall goal for the long run (until you can move closer, or I can get a job transfer closer to you, etc.) Long distance relationships are hard but can work depending on a few factors. The first being that the relationship doesn't start with a significant distance already between the two of you. In the beginning of a relationship it is hard to get to know someone if they aren't around so that you are able to date casually and see if this is someone you actually would like to be with long term. If a distance, (or think of it as a challenging obstacle, soldiers) is put between you both after the two of you have gotten to know each other the relationship stands a chance because the two of you are already well acquainted and know and are willing to fight for the relationship's perseverance.
The most important thing is trust. I cannot stress this enough because honestly a lot of people like to have their cake and eat it too. This means that they could be going behind your back by finding someone closer to them and finding this relationship easier and more convenient. I, Jane Doe, have had a long distance relationship and can honestly say with the distance a lot of aspects of said relationship were not satisfying because I craved the closeness that wasn't within reach so to speak. If you are the kind of person who is okay without closeness and are completely secure with your independence I advise you to try one at least once because even if the relationship doesn't last, you can still learn so much about yourself from the experience. Answering questions like, "Am I a dedicated partner? To trusting? To needy?" Things we don't often like to really take a deep look and ask ourselves.
Though my own long distance relationship did not last I did learn a lot about myself and what I was willing to work with and even some of the things I would not give the time of day. More often than not, a lot of long distance relationships don't work because both men and women crave time and attention. Even with all the technological conveniences that allow us to see and hear the person far away nothing beats the time we actually get to hold and touch them. It could be argued that long distance relationships teach us to cherish and savor the time that is spent together, and usually it does because we try to make every single minute count. But (and this is a big but) we should be doing this in every relationship regardless of the distance because you want to enjoy the relationship for however long it is meant to last.
Lastly, I would like to leave you with this. Distance will only work if your partner meets you halfway. This means the effort cannot be all one-sided because this is how your partner can show they want the relationship to work just as much as you do. Dedication on both ends is key. Trust your instincts and since you really know yourself better than anyone else, ask yourself whether the relationship has left you feeling whole and satisfied or a little empty. If you are having doubts it is important to confront them. If you keep entering into relationships with a significant distance between you and your partner(s) it is important for you to ask yourself why you keep looking for things with such an obstacle (are you afraid of having someone around too often and getting sick of them? Do you like keeping people at an arms length away as to not really get hurt?) As always: live, learn, and love. This love isn't just for your partner but is also a self-love because you have to do what makes you happy.
Fight on, soldiers! Love is still a battlefield.
-JD
