Severing Ties For A Happier You

Happy Saturday, Soldiers! I received an e-mail from another one of our readers who wrote that she is in a relationship she knows is unhealthy but finds herself having the hardest time letting go of it... even though she is well aware she should. I realized this would be the perfect topic for a new article because a lot of men and women put themselves in situations and relationships could be deemed as 'high drama' and unhealthy.

We cannot help who we like: blame science. Chemistry is a very strong driving factor for attraction and I am also told pheromones have a strong influence too. But sometimes things get complicated... life happens and the universe throws us in different directions to keep us on our toes. In order to survive the chaos that keeps life ever-changing we have to be willing to adapt to situations and the fluctuations relationships go through. The stronger soldiers do this, usually without even realizing it, and put up with a lot of debris that can crowd life's path and clutter our minds and emotions. But how much is too much? Is it "giving up" if you walk away and start a new assignment? A new journey separate from the path you were on? Was this the path meant for you? And how do you know when the weight of the situation/relationship is worth the struggle?

Ask yourself if the good times outweigh
the bad times. This is a typical indicator.

Life is full of struggles. The Chinese proverb, (or curse as some see it), "may you live in interesting times" basically wishes you hardships and struggles because they make life interesting, teach us valuable lessons, and help us recognize that some things are worth fighting for. If life were easy, things would be boring. And, as my fellow Doe girl Danielle put it, "The best things in life are worth fighting for, believing in and never letting go of." This applies when a relationship gives you more happiness than grief. Even if other people fail to recognize it but in your heart of hearts you know it. However, if the scales are tipped in the other direction then you are setting yourself up for nothing but misery.

If the relationship seems unhealthy, then it should be let go of. The longer you stay in it, the harder it will be to break free... not to mention, it will hurt more the longer you draw it out. Now I am not saying you will find a relationship without challenges. There will always be challenges, soldiers. But if you can find someone who puts as much energy, effort and love in as you do then you will find yourself a lot happier. Find someone who values you and what you have to offer; because the partner that takes you for granted is the partner who doesn't recognize a good thing until they lose it.

Sometimes when you love something you have to let it go, if it comes back then it was meant to be. Yet for your own health and happiness this may mean letting go of said relationship and taking care of yourself for a while, soldier. And I mean really letting go... severing ties (at least in the beginning) is the only way you will be able to move on and do right by you. You may come to realize this relationship was wrong for you from the get-go. And if it was the right relationship all along and is meant to be it will come back to you... but only let them back in your life if your partner in crime proves to you they have changed and are worthy of your love and your time.... Because you are unique and valuable and will find someone who recognizes these qualities in you, even if they fail to do so.

A bad relationship is like an addiction. We love the person and crave their time and affection yet recognize that they are toxic. Detoxing may be hard but is so worth it! It gives you a chance to breathe fresh air, clear your head and see things differently. So, take that deep breath and the leap of faith... the universe works in mysterious ways!

Love,
Jane Doe