Dickmatization: The act of getting caught up in a sexual relationship that is going nowhere except the bedroom.
Dickmatization is a real problem in LA.... most people think they are amazing in bed but really... are not. But when do you come across the pleasant surprise of someone who has some amazing tricks up their sleeves that it has you thinking about how you can't wait to get back into bed with them. This becomes a problem, and for some, even an addiction.
Sometimes, we tend to talk ourselves into things, make excuses for significant others (Oh he must just be busy), or even excuses for our own poor decision making etc. But the fact of the matter is sometimes people are looking only for a physical relationship. It's important to know: you can't make them suddenly real relationship material if that's not what they're looking for in the first place. Soldiers, realize that as amazing as the sex may be, all it is doing is wasting your valuable time of finding someone who may be the whole package.
Have you been the victim of Dickmatization? Ask yourself these questions...
1) Outside of sex, how well are you treated by him? Are you respected?
2) Does this relationship take you outside of the bedroom?
3) Do you find yourself justifying his/your actions that put you on the back-burner?
4) Does the sex keep you coming back for more while nothing else really does?
Avoid Dickmatization in 2 easy steps:
1) Love and Penis are Not Created Equal: Amazing sex is pleasurable and can become like a drug. The addiction comes from feeling good and finding release. But sex does not mean love and sometimes, because women have an emotional connection to sex, we can confuse one for the other. It is important to realize that the more you go back to the person, the worse the addiction will get. I have said it before and I will say it again: know your worth, soldiers! Going back to a man who treats you as a booty call will not help your self esteem and will only make you feel worse about yourself and what you deserve. Don't settle for less! Important to realize: Small talk in the bedroom does not mean you guys are building anything more than sex. Has he actually taken you out of the house on a real date? Be totally honest with yourself.
2) Know Your Body: Discover your own likes and dislikes. As they say: practice makes perfect. Figuring out your own wiring, will help you help your future partners. Never depend on any single person to provide your happiness (or orgasms). Knowing what works for you puts you ahead of the game by recognizing when someone has potential or is on the right track.
It's rough, but you can get over this addiction. If you are looking for more than a bedroom romp, keep your expectations high so you will not waste your time with someone who ultimately has a game that will get old. And it always gets old. The sad part is the more time you waste with this person, the older you get and be denying yourself a real relationship. That is a tragedy no soldier should endure!
For a great in-depth article about relationships going nowhere, CLICK HERE for more helpful insight!
And note to my John Doe soldiers reading this, don't think you are in the free and clear... the term "pussy whipped" is basically the same thing....
Jane Doe over and out.
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