"The Big O"

While dining with a few of my other lovely Doe's in LA we got on the topic of sex and "The Big O." I was really disappointed to learn that every single woman in my company excluding myself had at one time or another faked orgasm. I found this to be really sad not only because it gives the guy false pride in his skills, but rather it does not educate the man how to truly pleasure a female and therefore it leads to a slew of other problems.

Let's Get Real.

First off, a woman should never depend on a man to get her there. If a woman is not comfortable with her own body and does not know how to please herself and what she likes, how will a man ever know? Every body is different and this must be taken into consideration. Some people like having their neck sucked on, others do not. You truly have to test the waters and find out what pleases you. Only then Ladies, can you show your guy what to do in order to please you. By faking it, chances are you will be in a repetitive pattern of faking it over and over again. Let's face it, that isn't fun for anyone.

Don't be fake.

Now that we know not to fake it, let us figure out ways to make it really happen. First off, women are great multi-taskers. We know how to do two things at once and because of this, we often struggle at reaching the "Big O" because we are over-thinking things and have a hard time just relaxing. It is essential to relax and be in the moment because if you are tense it makes it hard to enjoy yourself.

If a guy's touch is not doing the trick take his hands or head and show him where to touch or kiss. This  shows a level of comfort and is also sexy to men, especially when a woman knows what she likes. Most guys are fast learners and will pick up on what you like and what you don't. If he still seems clueless, you made need to be vocal and tell him what you want. It may sound very forward but it always does the trick. There are many ways you can do this, but the best approach is to tell him in a sultry voice while whispering in his ear about what you want. He will be all too happy to oblige.

Guys, I think you have all heard the saying "ladies first." It is important for you to recognize this applies in bedroom etiquette as well. Before you get off make sure your lady has. Good sex is essential to a successful relationship.

Now on to the topic of oral sex. This is the best way to ensure you get a girl to reach a real orgasm. The problem is many guys do not really know how to do it. The successful oral artist knows that multitasking is essential. Most guys think they should use just their mouth but the trick is using your fingers too. The fact is, the two sensations are usually what do the trick to get a woman to reach climax, so work on your multitasking skills. It applies the same with women, most of us know giving good head requires mouth and hands. 

Guys, don't take offense to not knowing, instead, see it as an opportunity to take notes and truly bring your lady a heightened amount of ecstasy that only you could bring to her! That should make your ego soar, right? YES... YES... YESSSS.... Carpe diem!

-Jane Doe