What To Do When The Family Doesn't Dig Your Significant Other

Since a few of my friends have had recent qualms with this specific type of problem I figured this was the best topic to cover for the new blog entry. We all have those phases where we are attracted to characters our family is not always fond of whether it be because of appearance, lack of motivation, trust issues, or simply believing you just deserve better. But because we want so desperately to feel we are our own individuals we can sometimes try to rebel in the hopes that we can prove Mommy and Daddy Doe wrong. Whether it is to prove this person is good for you, or even that you know what is best for yourself (you are an adult now).

When it comes down to it, do you really know what and who is best for you? The fact of the matter is most of the time when we put ourselves in situations with partners that alienate us from the rest of our lives, goals, friends, family, etc. the people in our lives actually become distant and can become worried about us. It happens and leaves said individuals feeling like they are not important anymore simply because now you would rather lounge around with your partner instead. This phase of alienation does make sense at the beginning of a relationship and is often referred to as the "honeymoon phase" because things are so exciting and the two of you cannot get enough of each other. This phase can last anywhere from about a month to six months (if you are lucky).

Things stay this good in the beginning.

The reason you cannot get enough of each other is because of how new and different everything is. But once this phase is over it is important for you and your partner to pick up hobbies, friends and functions that you can attend apart from each other to keep the relationship interesting and have things to talk about when the two of you come back together. If you run out of things to talk about what are you honestly suppose to say to each other? Things will get dull because of the repetitive nature of events.

If your family is concerned about you and your choice of partner it is important for you to observe the relationship not in the defensive but as an outsider. It is hard, but you have to try putting yourself in another person's shoes. Have you been ignoring your friends? family? obligations or responsibilities? If the answer is yes you need to step up to the plate and fix things where they are broke, and I mean really fix them, not just say you will try to... After all, actions speak louder than words, soldiers.

A romance is like a match: it could burn out quickly. If you remove yourself from the lives of the people who loved you before your partner entered your life then who will you have to fall back on when the person is gone? The answer is simple, no one. No one likes a part time friend or family member, so if you value the relationships with the people in your life then cherish them and show them how much they matter before you let these relationships go up in smoke.

On the other hand, if you know in your heart and soul that your family and friends are wrong about your partner it is essential for you to show them just how wrong they are, not just tell them. Though things are exciting when you date outside of what your family comes to think of as right for you, it will make your life and your partner's much easier if you all can coexist together in a world of give and take. This means being there for all, not just the person "putting out." The obvious answer I can give to all of you is this: when family and friends do begin to notice a change in your behavior or in the way you let your partner treat you, they are going to try and bring it to your attention, just know nine times out of ten your family and friends are right because the people that really love you only want what is best for you.

Jane Doe over and out.