Change of Scenery?

I received this  e-mail from a fellow Doe and felt that I should share it with the rest of my readers as well as my response back.

-J.D.

Dear JaneDoeofLA,

I find it very disheartening growing up in Los Angeles and finding out that the older I get, the pool of good guys seems to continue to dwindle. They say there are many fish in the sea, but I feel like my sea has become a small pond on a golf course. I feel like chivalry is a dying art. Most guys don't seem to know what they should do to be considered a gentleman, or even how to win a lady over.

Ewww.

Its very frustrating when a guy does not know how to act like a man and not a little boy.

No, I do not want you to holla at me.

No, I do not want you to send one of your friends to tell me you think I'm hot.

No, I do not want you and your whole group of friends to approach (and trap me) at the bar until I give you my digits.

No, I refuse to tell you how many sexual partners I have had on the first date. Not because I am a whore but because that is an inappropriate question.

No man-whores, please.

And absolutely, will I not sleep with you on the first date before I feel like I know a bit more about you...  like for example, your name maybe?

Its hard to stay positive in a city filled with so many negatives. Any advice?

-Distressed Doe

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Well, Distressed, as I said in my last blog post relationships shouldn't be complicated, but dating is a whole other story! I stay positive because I do not put myself in situations where I know I will be attracting not only the wrong kind of attention, but the attention from the crowd of guys I don't want. For example, if you do not want to be trapped at a bar then do not go to a bar. If you want to meet genuine good guys they are out there. You just have to place yourself in the right location so you can meet them.

Whether it is a bookstore, a museum or art exhibit, or even taking a class in something that interests you. I have a friend who is very focused in the energy we carry as people and she got so tired of meeting "fake" guys that she ended up signing up for yoga classes to declutter her mind and soul. Not only did she find her own center, she found a gorgeous classmate she has been ohm-ing with for 2 years now.

Stay positive by putting out what you hope to attract. If you do this and put yourself in the right environment I think you will find you are not only liking the change in scenery but also that the people you are surrounding yourself with are what you have been looking for... something different, new, and exciting.

Stay positive because negativity attracts only negativity and you deserve better than that. I commend you on not settling. Continue to think highly of yourself and know your worth. Keep you chin up and know that when you do find one of those chivalrous gentleman how much sweeter it will be that you succeeded in finding him! Remember, the dating world is a battlefield.... So stay strong, soldier!

Love,
Jane Doe