Live and Let Live

I have recently been thinking a lot about relationships. All relationships, not just the romantic ones. And had this epiphany that really struck me... sometimes we don't know where a relationship is headed and how true it is until we rock the boat with that relationship. I think there is this moment of clarity we get when we see just how a partner in crime, a lover, or a friend shows who they are when you really test the waters in that relationship. It is this moment of clarity where we get to see: a person's "true colors,  how this person reacts under conflict and/or pressure, as well as, how they truly feel about you and the conflict. Its odd, but confrontation allows us to see things and people in a whole new light.

It is kind of ironic, but people crave closeness and companionship. The world seems a lot sadder and darker without people around us who can lighten life and be there for us through other struggles in daily life. The funny thing, soldiers, is sometimes it is that closeness that causes us to believe we have established a real connection with another individual; and we disillusion ourselves into believing we have found something permanent, or what I like to call a constant.

"constant": something/someone you can always rely on.

The reasons for this special "bond" could be similar interests or goals, similarities in personality, or just comfort over a period of time etc. But the truth is, we never really can recognize how true the bond of that relationship is until the bond is tested in some capacity.

I have come to the conclusion that people portray themselves the way they want to appear. Look at most people who are on online dating sites. They attempt to create an illusion of the person they would like to be but when you meet them face to face you can sometimes find they are nothing like their description. The same is true when people go out in social settings. They present themselves as confident, fun, and easygoing as possible to attract people with these traits.

Yet we never really truly know a person until we see the side of them they try to hide or disguise. As that old but true proverb goes: "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." This means that when the road can get bumpy, a strong person will work harder to meet said challenge or difficulty. The surface relations will run for the hills and from the challenge. In a way, it is a blessing in disguise because it helps us delineate a true bond from a surface bond and makes us look internally to recognize and be grateful for the true constants we do have in our lives.

Don't be fooled by what people want you to see Soldiers, dig deep and find their true self and yours. You will save yourself a lot of disappointment by searching below the surface for what people try to hide and knowing just what you are getting yourself into. Don't expect perfection, but don't accept just anyone as a constant either.

Remember, "To thine own self be true."

-Jane Doe over and out.