The World of Online Dating

I had never been one to consider meeting someone online, yet when a fellow soldier wrote in and asked me to cover an article about it, I knew the only way I could write about such a topic would be to try it out for myself. I gave the mission a one month trial just to test it out.

I decided on Match.com not only because they were offering a one month free trial, but because I felt that if people are looking for something serious they would be willing to pay for the service to find it. There are also a lot of free dating services out there. But I had quite a few fellow soldiers try them and they all lead to a few shady experiences that haven't lead anywhere. Janet Doe* talked to a guy for a while online only to have him harass her with picture texting her random pictures of his member before they even made it on the first date. Jessica Doe* continues to try dating online, but on her last date she noticed a camera situated in her date's backseat recording their driving... needless to say, she was a smart soldier and got out of there fast!

In a world where it is hard to make connections in the LA nightlife for more than a booty call, I decided to be selective in who I considered writing back to. I was showered with a lot of attention and I have to admit, it did feel nice... but I remained cautious. I finally had one guy who wrote me and seemed very real and we had a lot in common. The one red flag was that he had one picture up on his account... so naturally, I was concerned that he really "looked" like that.

Nearing the end of my one month trial, I finally mustered up the courage to respond to my "match" and I agreed to grab a cup of coffee with him. We had some really good conversations but I didn't feel any actual chemistry with the guy. I felt bad because he was sweet, and seemed very genuine, (and yes, he was the guy in the picture), but that rush of excitement you get from going out on a date with someone just wasn't there for me. I began to feel worse because at the end of the date I tried to be cordial, but he basically tried to mount me on the street. Everything he said and did on the date basically stated that he was already "smitten." Neediness scares the hell out of any solider, guy or girl, and I knew that was the signal for this soldier to flee.

I have come to the conclusion that in order for a person to really understand online dating and whether it can lead to anything for you is to experience it first hand. I discovered it wasn't for me. I like it more organic, where boy meets girl, girl and boy like each other and go out and both have butterflies while out on the town together. For me, looking at a computer screen did not give me the effect of excitement or the thrill of newness.

I have no regrets about the experience though. It was an experience of growth and it gave me the answers I needed to understand online dating is just not for me. Will it work for you? Try it on for yourself, soldier... do not limit yourself by closing doors without being willing to take a peak on what is on the other side of the door.

Jane Doe over and out.