How Old is Too Old?

They say age is only a number, but it also can factor a lot in how a relationship progresses or comes to a screeching halt! Maturity factors into every relationship. People get broken up with for not growing up, still being wild, not taking care of their responsibilities, etc. So to say it is just a number is not looking at it from all sides. I decided to look at the age issue with dating from a few different angles.

This is just not right.

A lot of guys love dating younger girls. They like that they are young, live in the moment, like to party, and are more naive because of their lack of life experience. Some guys like this situation because it makes them look like the "big" man with young arm candy; where other men like this situation because they look smarter when compared to someone lacking the wisdom that comes naturally with age.

Some women enjoy dating younger men because it makes them feel a little naughty and adventurous, as if they are reliving their younger years.

Hollywood's favorite age gap couple.

But what about when the shoe is on the other foot. What if you are the young person looking to date older? And how old is too old? Well, the answer to this question is not that simple. Ultimately the answer depends on the person you are, what you like, and what you are attracted to.

If this doesn't make you say "oh, baby
oh, baby!" Then I don't know what will.

If you are responsible, mature, and handle all your missions like a truly dedicated soldier, I would say you are a person who has a larger age range to work with. But just know, the older you date the more baggage you should expect to find in your partner, because along with life experience comes the ups and downs that go with it. This could mean an ex-wife/ex-husband, kids, and other commitments beside work and you. If you feel you can handle all that then go for it, soldier!

If you aren't ready to be "mommy #2" then walk away
while there is still time... No, don't walk, run!

And yet, I have had many readers write in telling me that this person would be perfect *if* they didn't have this obligation or that obligation. But people don't really change, and it's not fair to expect them to either.

Yes, the baggage really does pile up with age.

The best advice I can give you is for you soldiers is to figure out what you want out of a relationship and from your partner. By figuring this out, you are one step closer to mentally eliminating the ones you don't want to waste your time with. Make a list, (a real written one), it really helps you hone in on what's important to you and what isn't.

Until next time,

Jane Doe over and out.

The Woes of a Wingman

A fellow reader informed me the other day that she dated this guy who wouldn't go anywhere out without his "wingman" A.K.A. his "best friend." She consulted me for help and so I decided to investigate this wingman method and see what all the fuss was about.

Turns out a lot of guys do this. Where as, with women, when we go out with our girls, if a guy approaches, our girlfriends usually let up and give us the space to be flirted with and wooed. Unless you consider our buddy system to go powder our noses together in the ladies room... but I really don't consider that the same, boys.

Whereas guys usually will use the buddy system and not give an inch if they have hopes they can get some action from one of the girl's "friends." This method doesn't always work. In fact, most women find it annoying when a guy's friends can't let him be an adult and go off on his own. Just because one girl might be feeling you doesn't mean it is a love match for her friend or yours either.

One of my Doe girls even admitted, "If a guy can't be a man and approach me by himself, I am immediately turned off. This isn't elementary school. So don't send your boy over to tell me you think I'm hot." Well played. There are already enough games that go on in the world of dating so make it easier on yourself by taking the initiative and going after what you want. Now soldiers, this does not mean to give up on your "guy time"/"girl time"... all it means is try and keep it separate. If you are digging on someone then separate from your fellow comrades to see if it is just a physical attraction or if it could be something more. The only way you will figure that out is some private one-on-one communication.

So do yourself a favor, ditch your all the time wing-man/wing-woman buddies when you see someone you like. Chances are, they could be doing more hindering than helping... and no one likes a cock-block, even an accidental one.

Jane Doe over and out.

A Weighty Situation

I have been swamped with massive amounts of e-mails lately and one specifically stuck out to me. A reader wrote in that she made the mistake of making a comment about having a "fat ass" in front of a guy she's been dating and as a result he figured it was okay to say his own comments about her having a fat ass too.

My God, what is this world coming to soldiers?! Any man with half a brain should know that it is never okay to say anything about a woman's weight you are dating or even interested in dating. It will get you nowhere. You got that? NOWHERE. Any chance of her putting out won't happen if she is worried you will be thinking about what her body looks like during the act of sex.

We all come in different shapes & sizes

As individuals living in this LALA Land we call "home," We all can feel insecure. No matter how fat, thin, ugly, or pretty you are. You can always make a person feel more self-conscious than they do already. And why add to that when there is already enough pressure on women specifically. Unlike men, women love to rip each other apart rather than support each other.

Comments like: "Oh my god what is she wearing?" and "Oh no, that dress does not look good on you." Are comments that only serve to make one girl feel better about herself and another feel worse. But realistically speaking, it does not make you look better, or even feel better. Instead, it only makes it worse. Especially when said girl says well if I am hating on her, how many others are hating on me? I give a girl major props when she wears something crazy... even if I myself would never wear it. If she has the balls/ovaries to wear it and feel good about herself more power to her! As women, we should all be more supportive of each other as a group. After all, we are all women looking for something out there and like it or not... we are all stuck co-existing so we might as well try to get along.

Even men can be insecure... no matter how gorgeous he is. Ever notice that guy? The one who can't put his arms down completely on his sides because his muscles are so big?

Yeah, that guy...

Well, all you have to do is say one comment about him having a small or even a crooked penis and its enough to send him into a fit of depression and insecurity.

Yes, they have feelings too.

But going back to our main topic, living in the superficial world of Los Angeles it is important that we realize confidence is what makes a person sexy. This is why I give the girl who rocks the crazy outfits major kudos in the first place. It takes guts. And having the confidence to put yourself out there is half the battle, soldiers!

So don't let the guys (or girls) you date see your insecurities. Project yourself in the way you want to be seen and carry yourself as if you walk into the room wearing Batman's cape! This way, the spotlight is on you. I guarantee if you do this, people will naturally gravitate to you and won't care about how big, small, bubbly, or flat your ass is.

Jane Doe over and out.