The Woes of a Wingman

A fellow reader informed me the other day that she dated this guy who wouldn't go anywhere out without his "wingman" A.K.A. his "best friend." She consulted me for help and so I decided to investigate this wingman method and see what all the fuss was about.

Turns out a lot of guys do this. Where as, with women, when we go out with our girls, if a guy approaches, our girlfriends usually let up and give us the space to be flirted with and wooed. Unless you consider our buddy system to go powder our noses together in the ladies room... but I really don't consider that the same, boys.

Whereas guys usually will use the buddy system and not give an inch if they have hopes they can get some action from one of the girl's "friends." This method doesn't always work. In fact, most women find it annoying when a guy's friends can't let him be an adult and go off on his own. Just because one girl might be feeling you doesn't mean it is a love match for her friend or yours either.

One of my Doe girls even admitted, "If a guy can't be a man and approach me by himself, I am immediately turned off. This isn't elementary school. So don't send your boy over to tell me you think I'm hot." Well played. There are already enough games that go on in the world of dating so make it easier on yourself by taking the initiative and going after what you want. Now soldiers, this does not mean to give up on your "guy time"/"girl time"... all it means is try and keep it separate. If you are digging on someone then separate from your fellow comrades to see if it is just a physical attraction or if it could be something more. The only way you will figure that out is some private one-on-one communication.

So do yourself a favor, ditch your all the time wing-man/wing-woman buddies when you see someone you like. Chances are, they could be doing more hindering than helping... and no one likes a cock-block, even an accidental one.

Jane Doe over and out.