Fear of Love

I know I fell off the radar recently, soldiers... but life throws you lots of curve balls and lately mine has been filled with them (I'll get to that in one of my coming articles), but as for right now I have been reading through your e-mails and though I am a little backed up I want to attempt to answer as many of them as I can in the coming weeks. So please, bare with me! I had a fellow Doe girl write me who says she is dating a guy who has a fear of expressing his emotions and she doesn't know how to deal with that. So after doing a little bit of my own investigating I have decided to have my first blog back be about people who fear love and emotion. I can only hope you haven't lost faith in me, or in our shared mission.
-J.D.

------------

The sticky situation: searching
for your better half.

Love is something everybody searches for in this world. A person who they can depend on, and truly be themselves around. A person who inspires them to be better in any capacity whether it is to be stronger, smarter, sweeter, or more selfless, (which, lets face it, is very hard to find in LA LA Land). Girls tend to be much more in tune with their emotions... it goes hand in hand with being a woman unless you have trained yourself to be more romantically cautious and not wear your heart on your sleeve. Yet, for a lot of men, it is difficult to appear vulnerable, which is why they often keep their emotions in check and don't give away too much. Leaving many of us girls to wonder: how does he feel in all of this?

Is this what you're attempting to break through?

More often than not, men attempt to keep their own emotions in check because they see being in touch with their emotions as "weakness" and more often than not, openly expressing your feelings gives the person you "love" a transfer of power... the ability to recognize that power, and have the potential of  hurt you. No one likes the idea of ending up heartbroken, so because of this, they "keep" their power by not divulging too much information and not communicating openly about their feelings. This doesn't mean they are not feeling anything... contrary to popular belief, they "feel"too!

So when does a guy actually start opening up and telling you how he feels about you? Well, honestly it depends on the guy. But more often than not it is when they start to see you are making a difference in their life (for the better), that they can open up to you without fear of being judged, and lastly when they feel comfortable... and can just be themselves. Being able to open up to someone and show them all of you is tricky, but so rewarding when you find someone you can just connect to.

The right person will always light you up.

Love comes to us in all different ways. The best thing I could tell you, soldiers, is this: Be true to yourselves and don't be afraid of your own emotions, even if they scare you. I say this because recognizing your own feelings will allow you to help your partner discover theirs. Half of the battle is just the journey: so be open to the experiences that go along with the journey and you will find yourself happier while not only discovering your partner, but also discovering other parts of your inner self.

Jane Doe over and out.