Getting What You Want

Soldiers, we all have been there... you want something but are afraid to go after it or ask for it for fear of rejection or being judged. In the case of a lot of women: sometimes there is an expectation for people to read your mind and just know. Sadly, the world is not clairvoyant so chances are people won't really be able to read your mind and in the end you will end up feeling not only unsatisfied with them but also ultimately with yourself as well.

Communication is key. We were equipped with mouths for the purpose of expressing what it is we want. Not just eating and stifling out feelings by turning to food for comfort, which again, a lot of women do! A lot of the e-mails I have been receiving have been asking how people can let someone else know what they want. Regardless of what the subject is, the only way to let the person know is to tell them.

One Soldier wrote in on feeling neglected in the bedroom department. The only way your partner will recognize this is if you tell them. Now, this doesn't mean saying: "You have been neglecting my needs." The way you phrase things is key in making sure your partner doesn't feel they are being attacked. Phrasing it like this: "I really love it when you....[insert what you want them to do here]." This is not attacking or making them feel bad but instead encouraging them to make you happy and in turn make them feel good about themselves because they make you feel good.

But they won't know it unless you hint it. It isn't manipulating, it's getting what you want and what you deserve. If you feel your partner isn't communicating well enough with you speak up and get through to them, chances are they are not even aware that they are slacking or not delivering.

Don't just "want," get it too!

To make a long article short, when in a healthy relationship we strive to make our partner happy. It makes us feel good about ourselves in the end too. And the only way you will get what you want is to express it, so be open with yourself and your partner and you will find yourself and your relationship more satisfied!

-J.D.