The Bar Scene.

I was recently asked by one of our followers via our myspace account to do a blog specifically linked to "picking someone up" or how to ask someone out while at a bar. I will say, it use to be that men had to be men and always approach women. A part of this still applies today.

If a woman is too aggressive it makes a man feel less like a man. As a woman, if you see a guy who attracts you, don't ask to buy him a drink, but feel free to start up a conversation. This way you don't come off like your claws are extended, and you are ready to pounce. This shows that you have an interest to get to know him better. And, if he is feeling you too he will finally work up the nerve to ask if he can buy you a drink. This allows a man to feel like a man.

Guys, as hard as it may be, you have to work up the nerve to approach a girl. How will she ever realize you are interested if you do not put in any effort? She won't. If you have gone out for a night of drinking with a couple of your buddies and you see a pretty girl sitting down the bar, leave your comrades and approach her solo. Ask if you may buy her a drink. The trick for men is when they approach to be kind, polite and show you have good intentions. If your intentions seem shady (you cannot take your eyes off her breasts or butt), this immediately turns a girl off to you because she is aware you are only wanting her body and not wanting to get to know her as a person.

Guys: If sex is all you want, find the "tart of the bar." Every bar has one. You know, the girl who is hanging on every guy because she wants all the attention to be on her. If that is your goal, take her home and pray you wake up not having contracted an STD during your drunken sexcapades. But realize not all women go to bars to get laid! We simply crave the energy and the excitement that goes with the possibility of meeting someone new. Believe it or not, most girls are already putting themselves out there for you to approach by placing themselves in the bar. She is the mouse, be the cat and pursue!

Now, the trick for having a successful approach is to be approachable. This means you need to look presentable, as sad as it may sound, first impressions do stick. So dress the part, and look the way that makes you feel your best. This means putting effort into your appearance and don't look like a douche bag. (For an example of douche bag appearance, see below)

Girls, in order to be approached you need to not appear needy or uncomfortable being without a guy. This is essential otherwise you will only be approached by the creepy desperate guys, you know, the ones you want to just leave you alone. Think of it this way: you are out having fun, you don't need to meet anybody because you are secure with how things are going for you thus far. So send out the vibes of what you hope to attract. If you present yourself as a smart, successful woman, that is what you will attract, and vice versa.

Yet if you look lonely, miserable and like you hate your life who is honestly going to want to be a part of yours? Pick yourself up out of your funk or emo crisis. Life is too short. The only way someone else is going to love you and your life is if you love yourself. 

So get out there, Ladies and Gents! Start finding out what local spots attract the crowd you feel that you are or want to be a part of and find your date for next friday.

Jane Doe over and out.