Wave Your Freak Flag!

I decided that today's post should be about sex toys since yesterday's was about fear of performance. It is true there are a lot of men who are threatened by sex toys. I actually had an ex who said, "what's the matter, am I not enough for you?"What men don't understand is it can be hard to get a girl off and sometimes vibrations stimulate us faster, which makes a guy's life easier.

Everyone needs a little lovin'.

Guys should learn to feel comfortable with toys because using them actually keeps things feeling new and exciting. This is especially true when you switch things up. I knew a guy who actually was grossed out when he found out a girl he was seeing had a vibrator. Surprise, James Doe, most women do, the difference is we don't all broadcast it and are a little more discreet. I found this slightly hypocritical too because think about it, guys love to masturbate so why shouldn't a girl be able to get herself off too? Women can actually get sexually teased just as much as men do. And since men aren't always around at the opportune moment, we rely on our dependable friend an arm's length away.

I think the main problem guys have with sex toys is that they already have the male ego which puts pressure on them and now they are competing with a little machine that always gets the job done right. Instead of seeing the toy as an enemy. See it as your partner in crime. After all, Batman had times he relied on Robin to rescue him so why can't a toy help a guy out every now and again?

Switching up positions does keep things fresh for a while but to keep things piping hot you have to be willing to treat your lover's body like "new". Toys actually create this illusion of sharing the experience of exploring each other's bodies for the first time in a new way together (yes it is a sexual bonding experience). And don't worry Gents, there are male sex toys for your enjoyment too!

I always love watching couples who walk nervously into a sex shop for the first time together and are giddy with excitement. It actually reminds me of that moment when you were about thirteen and were kissed for the very first time and felt that rush of adrenaline and energy because it was new. Keeping things feeling this way guarantees we don't fall into routines which are honestly boring. Imagine if every time you had sex you stayed in missionary and only missionary. My God, you would fall asleep in the middle of the act!

You don't want the relationship turning rusty, and by rusty this means that you and your partner begin to actually get use to the same routine and have sex less and less and then the worst happens: You get so comfortable that it is almost as if you are brother and sister or just friends hanging out, lacking any real spice or sexual intimacy. Sex will begin to feel like a chore rather than as an act of blissful release, which is what it is suppose to be!

This doesn't mean start off with something scary and intimidating, (don't bite off more than you can chew), but start small and work up your comfort level from there. Who knows, you might actually discover new ways to pleasure you and your partner. So fellow soldiers, be willing to try new things while on your mission, you might surprise yourself!

Keep it steamy, soldiers!

-Jane Doe over and out.