Only Give As Much As You Can Take

After another wonderful night out with my fellow Does we got on the discussion of going out of your way for a person. I have been guilty of this quite a few times, adopting the name "doormat" because it was so easy to get stepped on. I was always doing favors, cleaning, cooking, etc. for the person I was crazy for. Because of that I usually saw my doing such things as a way to prove myself and my love to that person. The problem is, most of the time, the guys I would do for would come up short in returning the favor. This led to a vicious cycle: I would continue to do more in the hopes of receiving some sort of gratitude or recognition.

I am not to only woman to make this mistake, there are a lot of us out there (guys too, I'm sure) and its exhausting and frustrating knowing that you are overworking yourself and being unappreciated. No one likes being played, and certainly no one likes being taken advantage of, whether you are male or female, the idea behind that bites.

My dear friend Jodie Doe* (names have been changed to protect the innocent) is a kind-hearted girl who lives to please others and because of this her kindness is always used and abused. People always know they can depend on Jodie and because of this lovers, family, and friends depend on her to pick up the pieces for their mistakes. Because she has adopted this reputation of being like a "mother" and fixing situations, she is now exploited by said individuals. 

It is definitely a hard habit to break, but eventually people have to start being a little selfish and thinking of their own needs. I am not saying to not be there for those that are there for you, but love, caring and devotion should be reciprocal otherwise the relationship isn't truly a healthy one... or even a real relationship. Relationships are all about compromise: your partner has to be willing to meet you half way. Only you can truly know and recognize when you are not being truly appreciated. So each John Doe and Jane Doe must ask themselves: When is enough really enough?

If you are constantly the person doing all the sacrificing in a relationship chances are, this person will never compromise for you because they expect for you to do all of it, after all, you have already established this pattern. So if you are feeling unappreciated express your opinion, and don't be accusatory, just state how you feel. Sometimes the average joe doesn't even realize they are doing it... other times they are just use to getting their way all the time, and in the long run, selfish people never really change. So don't expect them to change for you.

Know that when you are a good, loving person you will find someone out there who recognizes your good traits (and can tolerate your bad ones) and can love and appreciate you just the way you are.

-Jane Doe over and out.