When Men Scare Themselves

When women think of men we honestly think of them more like their own species. Usually this is because they have trouble expressing their emotions (so women have a hard time sharing a connection with them). When it comes to subjects such as "love" and when they really start liking a girl. More often then not, guys usually suffer from what the world now knows as 'word vomit': a case where the mouth opens and starts to express more than a man would like to admit. Usually, said man later regrets this sudden expressing of emotion and recoils.

More like 'runs for the hills' if you asked me.

In an email, I had Jessica Doe* open up to me about this guy she had been on a couple dates and things were going great. According to her, a hot sexual tension was building but because she didn't "give it up" after the second date her date accused her of trying to pin him down into a relationship. Jessica, being caught off guard by this sudden attack simply responded that they were "just dating" and that she didn't even know if she were ready for a relationship because she was still getting to know him. Needless to say, her date felt like an ass... which, in retrospect, he should have because most girls (minus the "needy" ones) don't want to pin just any guy down. We don't want to be tied down unless we know for sure we want only you. After this talk, he completely started ignoring Jessica and I explained that lots of women have experienced situations like this. Guys end up cutting off their nose to spite their face and ruin a good thing before anything can really develop from it simply because of unnecessary fears.

Jenny Doe* told me that she and a male friend had become quite close and that he wanted to introduce intimacy into their relationship. She explained to him she was looking for more than sex and his response was that he too was looking for more than sex, in fact, he used the word "girlfriend." However, the next day, after hormones had subsided he realized he let his hormones speak for him and recanted his statement about wanting a girlfriend. This doomed not only any chance of a relationship, but also their friendship.

Shocked? Not really. This is actually most of the emails we have been receiving from our readers. This problem with word vomit has become a true concern because it leaves us wondering when we actually can open up to a partner and not scare them, or even worse, have them scare themselves.

"God gave [men] a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time"

                                                                                                     -Robin Williams

So what causes a guy to get a case of "word vomit" the answer is simple: comfort. When a guy feels comfortable with you he feels he can really be himself and speak freely. But why do they run for the hills after the fact? I decided to investigate and discovered two main reasons for recoiling from a case of "word vomit."

Fear of vulnerability: Men enjoy having the upper hand. When a guy appears weak or like he has given you the power by saying how emotionally invested he is he begins to feel emasculated. This isn't truly because of you saying or doing anything, ladies. More often then not, guys can dig themselves into this hole all by themselves and usually after the fact, they realize they did this and so they begin to pull away because they want to get their sense of power and manliness back.

Fear of Claustrophobia: This is a completely metaphorical fear that involves men feeling emotionally trapped to one woman. One woman means they are tied down and lack the power to go out, meet other women and flirt. He begins to feel closed off from other opportunities and so he pulls away when things start to get a little more emotionally intense.

How to avoid experiencing word vomit with a guy:

When it still feels too soon or new the best way to save your guy from experiencing word vomit is to cut him off with a kiss, it keeps his mouth busy and keeps him silent. No matter how nice the words may sound, you don't want it where the words he says leads to him having regrets the next day. So take it slow, actions speak louder than words anyway.

Gents, save yourself from future "word vomit" experiences by thinking before you speak. Ask yourself, "am I going to regret saying this tomorrow?" If the answer is yes, keep it to yourself. Because in the end, you may push away a girl that could have made you happy all because you freaked yourself out and became your own worst enemy.

Jane Doe over and out.